EVERYTHING BUT THE CURL

If "curling" has left you cold and confused. Try this. While waiting for my wife to come home from work, I threw on CNBC to watch the "C" events of the Winter Olympics. The particular event at the time was USA VS. Japan- CURLING. After 10 minutes of mind-numbing action, I turned down the sound and threw the iPod into my portable speakers and hit random. The first song to play was "Zorba The Greek" by Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass. The combo of these "athletes" sweeping their way to heaven and the frenetic sounds of the TJB was enough to send me reeling. I laughed so hard, I pulled something I didn't know I had.

I was having fun. I let the iPod run. The next random tune was a slow dirge-like version of The Beatles' "Yesterday" from jazz newcomer Chris Potter. This was even funnier. Watching C. Johnson, (that's what it said on the back of her jersey) slowly launch that soup tureen up the ice, while Potter's sax explored McCartney's melody was surreal.

I've decided to experiment with some other combinations. Much like the "Wizard Of Oz/Dark Side Of The Moon" phenomenon, I'm thinking "Speed Skating/Highway 61 Revisited." What about the Figure Skating Pairs? Wouldn't it be a treat to see the beauty of the choreography, skated to something other than the "Main Title Theme from The Name Of The Rose?" Think of Yevgeny Plushenko flailing his arms in presentation to "Itchykoo Park" by the Small Faces?" Triple lutz, perfect landing, Steve Marriott- "WE'LL GET HIIIIGH-IIII!"

It's not too late.